Monday, February 11, 2013

A new start!!!!

I am excited because I have for months now been trying to heal from all my mental and emotional stuff that I have had inside me for years and years out so that I can heal... I took an energy class back in September and it has helped me so much!!!! I still am not where I want to be but I'm finding that I am becoming more at peace with my mind and in general! I'm becoming the mother I wanted to be and the wife I wanted to be and even the person I want and use to be!!! I truely believe and know that if you hold in negative feelings or false or limited beliefs in then it causes diseases. I have known and studied this for years now and have seen in myself to understand that is the truth. I know that its okay to be angry to an extent and I also know that is okay to be frustrated too. This life is what my martial arts training taught me and my religion in the B of M teaches too the yin and yang law. If we didn't feel and experience anger, sadness, hurt then we wouldn't truely know what happiness, joy and safety felt like.
I know my actions haven't been the greatest in the last few years but I didn't know how to get all this built up gunck that was inside me from years and years out. I was holding it in because I didn't want to be a drag to be around. I wanted to always be positive, happy and good (I still want that too). Life brings all sorts of things and you can think about the experiences the way you choose to think but realty people will die and they will be missed and I will get sad. Its about how long and how I choose to think and deal with things like this. I hope I can be better and better everyday on choosing how I really want to think and deal with life as it comes at me! I'm excited to continue in my journey of this life and hope I won't judge and others won't judge me. I hope I can let go of the past and things others have done or not done and I hope others will do the same to me. Forgive others and hopefully they in turn will forgive me!!! I'm positive I and they will!!!!
And, I'm excited because though I feel  I have a new start as far as my thinking goes I'm also excited because we are going to have a new start somewhere else too!!!! I don't know for sure where we will be moving but we will be moving soon! Whether it be out of state or more rural I'm excited because I really want a new start in the place I live so that I can get a new chance with new people that don't know me and really feel like I have a new start! No one to judge me from past wrongs, no making more and more assumptions about me. It will be great to just feel like I can truely be ME again without any memories of me from previous!!!!!! I sooooo need this and I thank my Heavenly Father for this perfect gift to me!!!! Thank you!!!! I Love you!!!!!!