Saturday, January 5, 2013

Damned if you do, damned if you don't...



Well, I'm going to go ahead and vent on here. As a mom I feel this often... I feel I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I feel like people I know and people around me can judge me as a mom so fast and too harsh. I feel like people see me and when I'm disciplining my kids I'm either too hard or too soft and if I don't discipline at all then I'm a bad mom too because then I'm teaching my kids to be spoiled bratts. Somedays I just want to hide (and I usually do) in my house so I don't have to feel or see peoples disapproval of me as a mom. I feel a lot of times that I can't win with people and family hence my title I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Being a mom has taught me in such a deep way to not judge others. I don't think I would have learned this in such a deep way if I hadn't been a mom. So I'm grateful but still it hurts. I have been lectured by family that your kids are a reflection of you so if they act poorly then its reflecting you. Well, I agree to a point but come on its a toddler and they are going to have bad behavior period. Also, if we bring God in it... God is perfect and loves his kids unconditionally and still a third of his kids went totally against what he is and does and are the most hateful spirits around so because a third of his kids have the worst behavior, is that a reflection of God? NO!!!!! Of course not!!!! So why do people feel they can judge me at all. There... I said it and vented and feel better! So if anyone reads this just know I needed to get this out and now I need to release and let it go! I love my kids and I soooo love my husband. I'm not perfect but I'm striving to be better and I am on a learning journey just as much as anyone else is out there. I hope that I can be more and more compassionate towards others and see the good in others over the negative and reflect the good of others back to them so they can shine and know their goodness!Shine on! Shine on!!!!

2 comments:

kaelee said...

I have come to realize that there will always be haters. Always people that waste their time and energy criticising other people. Even if those people are close to me their opinion about how i live my life is not valid, because they will never be me, and they will never have the whole story. So from now on im just gonna try really hard not to be one of those people. I'm also going to do my best not to worry about what anyone thinks of me, because I already know that sometimes im not the best mom, but i know that I am trying hard. We are trying our best, and that is what matters. If anyone cant see that, they arent looking hard enough.

I know hazel is loved and clothed and fed and warm, and I hope she is learning the right things. That is all I can really handle. And kristy, I think your kids are angels. All I ever hear from ella are the sweetest things, like when she tells tate, "be kind". You are teaching them important things, and after i heard her say that i made a point of teaching hazel to "be kind". Some people dont understand that toddlers are constantly learning, and one of the ways tha they learn right and wrong is to push their boundaries and to act out. It is developmentally normal, and actually a good sign. When hazel does something she shouldnt i just explain or correct her, and help her understand, and if any one is looking on i just say, "she's still earning."

I think you are a fabulous parent who listens hard to your motherly instincts and intuition, and you always do what is best for those kids. I look up to you for that. I wish I was as good at putting hazel first at all times.

kaelee said...

I meant, "shes still learning ".